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WOULD YOU OBJECT TO BEING ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT VEGAN? Basically, it boils down to three categories of responses: 1) Yes, they object, 2) No, they don't object or 3) They could be with a vegetarian, but not a meat-eater. The recently converted vegans tend to object less than the long time vegans, in many cases. Many of the responders who did not object were actually not totally vegan themselves, I noted. So let's get right to it; here is a variety of vegan's thoughts in response to the question: WOULD YOU OBJECT TO BEING ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT VEGAN? "Yes, I wouldn't be able to respect anyone who did not share the same compassion for animals and care for the environment as I do. Also, they'd be more likely to die from cancer, etc., so it would seem a better idea to get involved with someone who's likely to be healthy for longer! And I wouldn't want to kiss someone who'd been eating meat/dairy." "I think it might be hard to be involved long term with someone who didn't care about animals and I see veganism as the logical conclusion of caring about animals." "Yes, since I'm married to a non-vegan, and I see how the relationship has deteriorated once I opened my eyes and became vegan; I would never want to go through this again." "Yes, I would object. Being vegan is a lifestyle. There is a saying that love is not looking into each other's eyes, but two people looking in the same direction. I would need to be with someone whose compassion and wisdom extends to his environment and the animals in it, in addition to the people of the world. Being vegetarian/vegan would earn my respect. I also wouldn't kiss anyone after they just ate beef or chicken or fish, for example.Yuck!" "Possibly short term, but for a long term relationship, my partner would, at least, need to be vegetarian." "It would be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who did not have the same focus and motivation to live compassionately as myself. I believe that becoming vegan opens a person to many other levels of love and kindness that were not there previously. I think that level of sensitivity makes a relationship much stronger." "Vegetarian is fine, but I could not be intimate with a meat-eater. Yuk!" "I'm married to a non-vegan. I just admit it's not easy!" "No, it does kinda turn me off though." "No. I would prefer a lover to be vegan but the choice would be too limited." "I would prefer that my husband be a vegan, but I recognize that everyone is at a different place in their life and just as I expect them to respect my choices, I have to respect theirs. Non-vegans do sweat a lot and it doesn't smell very attractive. I don't want to get into all the details but let's just say vegans smell a whole lot better." "It would be easier. But I was not vegan when I fell in love and married my husband." "My last relationship was with a meat-eater who went vegan. Dating a vegetarian or better yet a vegan is ideal, but it is extremely difficult to find the 'whole package' and chemistry is more important to me." "No way, means they are either ignorant or apathetic or worse, both." "Yah...I just think that it would come to blows at some point...why not start out on the right foot." "That would be hard for me, not only because of separate food choices, but possibly more so because being vegan is a frame of mind. And I'm not attracted to anyone whose mind isn't willing or able to embrace the truth of veganism." "Yes, I would have no respect for them and therefore, no attraction." "I currently AM involved with someone not vegan, but it's difficult. I am realistic to it, but I don't OBJECT. I try to embrace the differences between myself and others and hope that eventually an understanding and sense of compassion will sweep them up into vegetarianism, at least." "Yes. Being involved with someone who doesn't have morals! That is being a hypocrite if one is vegan! To look at someone, much less BE with someone who has no problem torturing animals for their own pleasure,that is disgusting!" "I would not object to dating a non-vegan. However, someone taking concrete steps to make the world a better place and to protect their own health by being vegan, is a definite attractive quality for me." "Yes, because given the cruelty and environmental degradation associated with the production of animal products, a person who chooses to support those industries could not possibly have either the open mind or the heart I'm seeking in a relationship." "No, provided they respect my lifestyle and also adhere to it when in my company. This is possible, and I am proof." "If I had to start all over again with a new relationship for some reason, I would choose not to be romantically involved with a meat-eater; and it does have to do with physical intimacy." "Yes, I wouldn't do it. It's my life's commitment; if they can't honor that, then the relationship would not be powerful for either of us." "Vegetarian would be fine, even a meat-eater, if I could tell they were compassionate and just hadn't realized that they should be vegan yet." "Yes, because being vegan is a part of a very important perspective I have socially, in regards to animal rights. Even though it may sound extreme to a speciesist, it would be just as difficult for me to date someone who was racist, sexist, classist, etc. Then again, I understand that I wasn't always aware of speciesism and was raised in a speciesist culture. I'm receptive to someone who is well-intentioned, empathetic, compassionate, etc., who just hasn't been exposed to veganism, yet." "I wouldn't object to it. However I don't think I'd marry or have children with someone who is not committed to veganism (though they could be in transition), as it adds a layer of complexity and difficulty, that having lived some of it, I wouldn't wish on anyone." "No, most women I have dated were not vegan until they met me." "Yes. I could not be friends or in a relationship with someone who is not vegan." "Yes, being vegan is not negotiable. I have no problem with my friends not being vegan. But for someone I will be spending the majority of my time with under the same roof, it's important that we have some of the same ideals and beliefs." "No, as long as they are supportive and understanding to my choices, I don't see a problem." "I wouldn't mind, as long as they respect my choice to be vegan and don't try to push their beliefs on me." "No, I wouldn't. Your diet doesn't lay out all your morals." "No, because I'm sure I could influence them during the course of the relationship." "Yes, I couldn't completely connect with someone who didn't get the vegan issue and the thought of being physical with a non-vegan is sort of gross to me...their smell, what they excrete from their pores, etc. ...on top of the fact that I would not see them as compassionate people." "The smell of the skin is different, basically. You can smell the meat-eater easily. The sperm of a meat-eater tastes differently, as well. I deeply believe that if you do not love others (humans, animals) you are unable to love your partner, and even yourself. There has to be something between partners that connects them. I just do not know how a relationship, vegan and non-vegan, is possible for a long term. Short term, yes...I wish all the best to those who try though, I might be wrong...who knows...I tried, it did not work out, but good luck to others." "Yes, I would object. I find the idea of exchanging body fluids with a carnivore disgusting." "Yuck. I couldn't imagine dating or marrying someone who wasn't vegan." "No, as I am already married to a man who is not vegan. While it would really float my boat to be married to a vegan, I understand that this is my fight, not his. I am thrilled that one year ago he changed to vegetarianism, and so maybe over time he will consider a full change, but I love him regardless." "Not at all. I think one of the problems with mainstream society's perception of 'anti-social vegans' has to do with the impression that vegans believe they are 'holier than though' and look down on the lifestyle choices of others. Refusing to associate with non-vegans only perpetuates this stereotype, which will do no good for the cause in the long run." "Yes, I would object if they ate meat. It would be too disgusting and I would not trust a person who is happy to kill to satisfy and unnecessary, old-fashioned, culturally-acquired, cruel taste for meat. I don't object so strongly to someone who eats milk products, but I would want them to be able to understand and support veganism in theory, even if they are not there yet themselves." "It's not so much 'objection' as a lack of attraction. The longer that I have been vegan, the less I have been able to 'block-out' a date/partner participating in something I strongly consider ethically wrong. It takes a lot of mental effort to ignore this part (meat-eating, etc.) of a partner's choices. I keep trying; however, as given where I live, the chances of meeting up with a vegan date are slim. Increasingly, as I get older, the chances of a permanent single life increase, unless I am willing to date in the non-vegan pool. There's an ongoing tension between the strength of my personal values and the basic need for companionship." "I'd find it pretty tough. I want the people around me to share my views to a degree, especially issues that are especially close to my heart. I'd question letting someone in too close who though harming animals was o.k." "Yes, non veg*ns are putrid." "I would probably make exceptions (as any warm-blooded human would), but it really is something definitive and highly important for me." "Meat is murder; I could not be with a murderer." "No way! I haven't dated in awhile and although it would be ideal to date a vegan, I'm not sure that is possible conserving the area I live in." "Nope. Love just happens." "Not at all. My relationships have always been with meat-eaters." "Yes, I don't want to sit down to dinner every night and watch the object of my affection munching on flesh. I now only find vegans sexy; VERY!" "No, if: 1) They were willing to go vegan over time or 2) I was only in it for the sex." "I think it would be difficult for me to be romantically involved with a non-vegan, at this point in my life. It's not easy to get around such a deep philosophical difference. I have a hard time imagining a romantic relationship between a slave owner and an abolitionist working out very long." "I guess so, in the same way if I dated someone who had racist views. It would always be the elephant in the corner, an unspoken irritation; one would imagine romance to be care-free." "I couldn't put my tongue in an omni mouth. It's gross." "Yes, I would very much object. Can't kiss a mouth which has eaten meat or dairy." "If I were single I probably would have a hard time continuing to date someone who was not vegan because if they were closed to 'change', that person would not be my type." "While I would love it if all my significant others were vegan, it hasn't happened like that in my life. I couldn't rule out dating someone I like/love based on that reasoning. I can only hope to quietly influence them into moving towards a more animal-friendly life." "It bothers me to watch someone eat animal corpses or excretions from suffering animals. I do not feel fully connected to someone who is not compassionate enough towards suffering animals to avoid contributing to the source of their pain and suffering." "First of all, very few men are vegan. Secondly, relationships have so much to navigate, that I'd be pleased with somebody who is accepting and respectful of my veganism as well as willing to eat more vegan food when I'm around." "No, the person who I am in a relationship with is an omnivore. Though I do not agree with what he consumes, he eats vegan when I cook and he is a wonderful man." "No, many meat-eaters haven't been exposed. I think it's worthwhile to take the opportunity to expose them. Worked out well with my current boyfriend." "No, I have been romantically involved with only non-vegans, non-vegetarians, in fact. This is not ideal, and I would need to be with someone at least sympathetic to my choices, but I don't socialize exclusively with vegetarians/vegans and it would be much too limiting to choose partners on this basis. Although I would love to be with a vegan; perhaps with someone converted through association!" "No, I would not because I believe that if someone loves you enough, they will respect your beliefs and maybe even open up to them one day." "All I can really say about this is that it makes life a lot harder when the person you are romantically involved with violates your most deeply-held ethics with every meal they eat. You end up feeling like a hypocrite, compromised, like you're betraying yourself or not being true to yourself or not standing up for what you know in your heart and gut to be true." "It's complicated because I don't want to be judgmental, but I can literally smell the (rotting) meat oozing out of their pores, and I also feel that fundamentally we need to have at least THAT in common: anti-animal cruelty and respect for all life." "Before, no. Yes, now. I don't think I could be intimate with a non-vegan. Kissing, etc...barf." "No, as a vegetarian, I was married to two meat-eaters, and any other romantic relationship was also with meat-eaters. Regardless of how strong an ethical position I may hold, I know better than to believe I can force change on others. I can only live by example and state my truth when the opportunity presents itself. Beyond that, it's not my place to make rigid judgments about the choices others make for themselves, or to shun them if they differ from mine. But then I despise any form of human elitism, including ideological, almost as much as I despise cruelty." "No, the way of the heart can't be dictated by the brain." "If I had it to do over again, I would have dated/married only a vegan partner. So much springs from that lifestyle; same world views, respect for all life, and simple lifestyle. There is definitely a rift between me and my spouse over these issues." "No, I would not object. I am not pushy, but I do explain my position. I would rather a person become vegan because it's the right thing to do instead of because I made it a condition of our being in a relationship." "I would definitely object. The smell, the ideology, the taste, the clarity of judgment, the intelligence of being vegan and having a vegan mate is exclusive. None other compares." "Yes. Being vegan is not a food choice for me, it is who I am and is bound up in the morals and beliefs I hold most dear. If someone did not hold these same beliefs, ideals and hopes for the future, I would not have very much important in common with them." "Yes, just the thought of kissing or doing the oral thing with a walking graveyard for animals, repulses me. And the consciousness and compassion is just not there. It's a no-brainer to be vegan. I don't want to be involved with selfish, non-thinkers who are involved in the torture of creatures for no reason." "Yes, I could never be with someone who wasn't vegan. If they aren't cruelty-free; they aren't for me." "No, because if you date a non-vegan and cook them a vegan meal, it saves more animals. Also, people can change and ruling out interested vegetarians or carnivores can rule out the opportunity to help them tow change to a vegan diet. Dating a fellow vegan saves no more animals!" "No, because I'm not a 'Vegan Nazi' who needs to make everyone else live by my rules." "Yes, being vegan is a lifestyle, and if I'm going to be romantic with someone, I desire them to be a part of my lifestyle. It's a major compatibility issue. Plus, when it comes to the sexual part of a romantic relationship, non-vegans have a funny smell to them and it is not sexy or attractive." "Vegan is a state of mind as much as a diet, a way of being that puts into practice at every meal the minimization of harm to oneself and the planet. Not quite a religion, but there are strong parallels. Having a non-vegan partner would really be impossible because veganism is a lifestyle, an extension of a system of beliefs and ethics." "I am in long-term relationship, but I would not theoretically omit non-vegans from the pool, since people grow. Think about before you were vegan. NOW you can be a positive change; you have the power to enlighten others." "I've had sex with non-vegans, but it was marginally more enjoyable than screwing a pork chop, if you can't connect with someone on an ideological level, then you might as well have sex with a sheep, with the sheep's consent, of course." "No, not only is it difficult enough to find someone you 'click' with, but having the restriction of a vegan-only partner would make things way more difficult! I think it's important to take into account the value of inspiring others, most people aren't born vegan." "Yes. I cannot fathom kissing or having sex with someone who has animal parts/byproducts in their body." "It's difficult for me internally, but I am currently involved with a non-vegan. He is very vegan-friendly and eats only vegan with me, but the issue is still in the back of my mind quite often." "Yes, because it's like my religion." "Everyone is on their own path. Today's carnivore could be tomorrow's Gandhi. I would object to becoming romantically involved, but it is on a practical level. I don't want to kiss someone or sweat with someone who is going to pass carnivorous fluids into my body. Gross! Also, I don't want the hassle of having non-vegan products in the house and having to have separate cooking pans. I do wonder, as well, if I would become disinterested in the person over time because I might become resentful of their beliefs. I don't think I would resent them, but who knows, and why try it when there are so many beautiful, smart, amazing herbivores around?" "I could not have a serious relationship with someone whose daily practices I found repugnant. I work in animal protection and I want my partner to support my work by making kind choices." "I see veganism as evidence of enlightenment. It would be hard for me to be with someone who was ignorant. On the other hand, having a relationship with a non-vegan could greatly expose and maybe even convert the person to veganism. Even if not, he would still be eating many more vegan meals than before, most likely. I think every vegan meal is a positive step for animals." "Kissing a walking cemetery for dead animals doesn't appeal to me. But I was once not vegan myself, so I want to cut others some major slack. That said, he'd probably have to be one hell of a guy; who respects vegan living and is open to considering going vegan." "No, I wouldn't. I don't judge people, that's condemnation and close-minded." |