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DO YOU LIVE WITH OTHER VEGANS? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO YOU? This section of the Vegan Relationship Survey involves two questions dealing with living arrangements; vegans living with vegans or with non-vegans. There are vegans living alone (and possibly happier than those living with non-vegans). There were quite a few vegan families or couples. Many responders said their home/kitchen is vegan and that family-members ate non-vegan outside the home. Some drew the line at vegetarian homes. Just about every living arrangement was mentioned. Many responders spoke of having their own pots/pans, cutting boards, utensils, cupboards and fridge space. The majority of responders, of course, wish they could live in a vegan home and their family or partner would become vegan. One thing heard over and over were complaints regarding the horrible smells associated with meat-eating. Simply put, there are vegans who tolerate living with non-vegans and, at the opposite end of the spectrum, there are vegans who could not tolerate sharing a home with non-vegans. Some of the responders' circumstances led me to believe they are living with non-vegans for various reasons such as finances. One responder spoke of her fiancé being unsupportive of her veganism and wouldn't want to raise their children vegan; yet he is her fiancé, she intends to marry him! They have learned to compromise on some points in order to live with omnivores, some feel they have no choice. There are vegan wives who have allowed their husband milk and cheese in the fridge because they said too much nagging and pushing had the opposite affect. Others opened up revealing deep feelings about living with a non-vegan spouse; one in particular is quoted in this section.
Question: DO YOU LIVE WITH OTHER VEGANS? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO YOU? "My husband is a vegan. We have no children. He did just become vegan last year, though, and I can say that things are much easier for us now that he is vegan." "I live with 2 other vegans; my parents. We have a good relationship." "My husband is very supportive. We both decided to embark on the vegan journey together. He's very open when I talk to him about animal rights issues." "When my mom moved in with us about 8 years ago, she was a meat and dairy consumer; we even had a separate refrigerator for her stuff. But over the years, she has tried and enjoyed all our vegan foods, and about 6 years ago, she too, became vegan." "Yes, there are 5 of us in the house and we are all vegans. One of them has been one of my best friends for about 4 years. The other 3, I have met within the past year, but we are all good friends now!" "Yes, one, I'm his human and he's my dog." "One vegan; my husband. Two pets (cat and dog) who try to be vegan. They eat flies sometimes. We feed them with fully balanced vegan diet." DO YOU LIVE WITH ANY NON-VEGANS? HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT? "I live with 4 non-vegans. They are my immediate family; mother and father, younger brother and sister. It is working out o.k., they taunt me at times just as I challenge and debate with them constantly. It can be disheartening at times, to spend my day researching abut animal rights issues, or writing animal rights based works, or informing people in my school about how they can help to eliminate animal cruelty then come home to a family sitting down to a meal comprised of pain and suffering. But, to be honest, it makes me more determined to expose the truth about animal products to people like them, people who have a stubbornness to follow the traditional ways that they have been brought up with, regardless of how wrong they may be." "No, animal products are not permitted in our house." "No, thank-God, I tried that once and it was a disaster." "I live with one non-vegan (well, one human non-vegan. There are a couple of non-human vegans in my home!) The non-vegan is my wife. This can be a difficult area in our relationship. Initially, the only issue seemed to be the 'where are we going to eat when we go out?' conundrum but now I find myself becoming a bit uncomfortable watching her consume and otherwise use animal products seemingly without a second thought." "Two at the moment; Phat Tony and Noodle, feline companions. They don't like my diet and I don't like theirs, but we tolerate each other." "No. Even my Chihuahuas are vegan." "Yep. I live with 8 non-vegans. They are my family members. It sucks to say the least. I hate smelling what they cook; it makes me feel ill." "No, even our dog is a vegan." "I have, in the past, lived with non-vegans; a boyfriend and a non-vegan roommate and I would not do it again. Both experiences were pretty bad after awhile." "My husband, who is an omnivore, chooses to be vegetarian at home out of respect for me." "I live with one vegan girlfriend and 3 cats; their food is unpleasant to smell and see." "My husband is non-vegetarian but is happy to eat what I cook at home and suit himself when out." "I live with my non-vegan husband. In the house he is mostly vegan with exceptions like pastries, supplements, and occasional frozen foods that aren't vegan. He might buy diary ice cream once or twice a year. Outside of the house is another story. It is a huge issue between us and has deeply affected our relationship. I wouldn't still be with him except that there are several things that keep us together (which I won't get into) despite how our relationship has changed and gone downhill. I had never heard the word 'vegan' when we got together about 25 years ago. I would not consider being with a non-vegan if I were single today. Through me, my husband has had a lot of exposure to information and has awareness far greater than the average person but still won't go vegan. This caused me pain but now I don't feel he is my partner anymore. We are in a relationship of practicality and complications. We are just friends and roommates now. We are no longer a couple, but only some people know this. We still care about each other quite a bit. We would be divorced and living apart if we could afford to although we would still remain close friends." "No, I can't imagine sharing a living space with omnivores, especially the kitchen." "My housemate is a vegetarian. She recently moved in and when I see her milk in the fridge, it reminds me of the suffering inherent in dairy operations." "No, I can be friends with non-vegans, but I could never live with one. It smells too terrible and we don't have the same morals." "I live with 3 non-vegans; husband, son, mother. It's working out really great. I love them all very much." "Two non-vegetarians; both family members. I have to get out! I am missing having my own kitchen." "No . Non-vegans in this house. It would really depend on the person, but I don't think I'd find it acceptable to have animal parts in my house and all the non-cruelty-free product would annoy me." "No. Non-vegans have been unable to survive here." "We are 3 people and I am yet to get married. I can enforce vegetarianism but veganism is yet to evolve." "One other non-vegan; husband. He eats meat at work during the day, or at restaurants, but we keep a vegan kitchen at home." "I have lived with vegetarians and those who have been willing to keep a vegetarian household (intentional community living), but never with a group of vegans." "Yech!!! No!" "My husband is 50/50 and my 17 year old daughter works at a meat market. I don't judge. I am only responsible for my own happiness." "Hell no." "No. I can't live with them, that is why I moved out from my parent's house; I can't keep seeing things I can't stand (like dead bodies of animals and other things)." "No, but have in the past and it was difficult. I felt uncomfortable opening the fridge to find dead bodies and products that were the excretions of exploited and murdered beings. I didn't make a stink or cause 'issues' due to this, but I did not feel comfortable with it all. I felt haunted and never felt fully 'at home' in my own home because of it." "My youngest son is not vegan anymore although he was brought up vegan. He is not at home much and rarely eats at home, but when de does only vegan food is provided." "Na, except for my fiancé's son, but with us he's vegan. It works out beautifully and naturally. He knows exactly why we do what we do, and he sees us walk the talk. I think teenagers appreciate that kind of commitment. And of course, I work hard to make delicious and healthy food for him." "Yes, one; my partner is omnivorous, but when we met, the agreement was no meat in the house, and if he eats animal produce, he gets no kisses!" "Yes, I've lived mostly with non-vegans. It's never been a problem. They've always been respectful." "I will NOT ever live with meat-eaters. Vegetarianism is still something near, I could talk, try to converse on veganism. People are afraid of being vegan." "I live with my parents, brother and dog. They may not be vegans and may say things that upset me sometimes, but they are my family, and I won't give up on them. We try not to tread on each other's feet, although I do want them to turn vegan, and they do want me to not be vegan. It is a battle that I have to win simply because, I know that veganism is right and they are unsure about eating meat. I can see it." "I live with two obligate carnivores (cats), and their diet is a source of conflict and guilt for me." "Nope. We do live in an apartment building/artist's community and smell meat cooking down the hall and in the green gathering area (on the grill). It's very disturbing." "Yes, 3; husband and two children. I have to compromise all the time." "I no longer live with non-vegans. I have had several non-vegan roommates over the last 4 years. It didn't' work out very well." "Yes, my husband and 2 dogs and 2 cats. Now we have a friend living with us. A lot them eat vegan at home." "I wouldn't rent a room to non-vegans. It's difficult enough living with other people; it would be unbearable to think of my kitchen being contaminated by dead animals." "Yes. One; my husband. Although he is a huge animal lover and helps me with our rescue group, the fact that he is not vegan is driving a wedge between us." "I have 3 roommates. They are all supportive. In fact, they always want me t make them the vegan meals I bake." "Yes, my husband. He is fine with it and because I don't push it and he sees the benefits; he is slowly becoming a vegetarian. He will most likely never be vegan, but I said the same thing." "We don't have animal products in our house but my 3 year old eats whatever they serve at her day care. Unfortunately, it would be too difficult to explain to someone her age why the other kids are eating a grilled cheese and she can't have one. When she is older, I hope she can be vegan at school as well as at home." "Yes, my wife and 16 month old son. My wife is supportive and will eat whatever I cook. Son is vegan when I cook for him but is free to eat, whatever his mother chooses to give him. At times, it's a little challenging as I have to take on the extra cooking duties, otherwise, my son will be eating more meat." "My husband is vegetarian, but vegan at home. My mother moved in with us 8 years ago. Fortunately, she has her own kitchen because everything she eats is animal. Actually, I find it very disappointing that my mother is unable to choose compassion over her 'food'preferences. I avoid her when she is eating." "I live with 3 non-vegans (non-vegetarians, as well). No one in my family has the same beliefs as me. My boyfriend and his roommates are the same way. It is extremely difficult as far as my boyfriend and his roommates not sharing my beliefs. One roommate in particular, is extremely against what I do. He thinks it is 'unhealthy' and 'stupid'. I did, however, actually get him to go with me to 'GREEN', the vegan restaurant in Scottsdale, Arizona. That was a huge step forward." |